Emotional Sobriety

My horoscope today is right on target:

If you and another person can't hook up, then the two of you aren't meant to hook up right now. Don't stress out about it or get frustrated. And do not entertain any ideas whatsoever that anyone could be avoiding you on purpose. Thinking like that will only put you on a path of thinking things about this other person that they don't deserve.

So once again, let go and let God. I guess I needed that confirmation from the heavens.

In a handout from an "Emotional Sobriety" seminar, I read:
"Finding ourselves locked into the intoxicating grip of certain emotions and suffering the pain and mental hangover from these, we found it necessary to learn which ones are poisonous and threatening to our emotional sobriety and serenity. We learn that we can avoid these emotions and their crippling effects if we can act our way into right thinking. We do this by saying to ourselves, "If I were not.....(jealous,depressed,etc.)what would I be thinking, feeling, doing?" We step out on faith after asking God's guidance. ANd we try to remember: EASY DOES IT, but DO IT!"

I turned over the situation to God last week and he has answered me with silence. I have to learn to recognize that silence is sometimes the answer.

Back to the five aids to contented sobriety...they can be applied to any situation. In this particular case:
1. Humility - do not be prideful or feel I did something or am something special because J.Y. showed me attention. He is not God.
2. Honesty - be honest with him about my life. Be honest with myself about the reality of the situation.
3. Faith - have faith that God has a plan for me; know that I must be patient and more will be revealed.
4. Courage - do not fear being alone or the unknown; do not fear his reaction.
5. Appreciation - Be grateful for my spiritual progress, the gift of sobriety, the friends and support group I have.

I am regaining my serenity and next time I will be aware of the potential disruption that can occur as a result of male attention. Especially the attention of an Alpha male...airborne ranger, life of danger, taking life, defending life, swallowing it all down so that no one has to eat it. A mystery, yet so obvious in his self mutilation. Praying that God will watch over him and reveal Himself in his heart, whether we continue our friendship or not. He is one of my heros, for he has to bear a burden I cannot fathom.